My Name is Romina

date: 2016-08-05T00:00:00Z

tags: essay

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I came out as transgender today.

This was the first time

I said any of what I was

Experiencing out loud:

My name is Romina,

but I only just realized it.

I am a woman. I have always been.

Now that I have words for my feelings,

I don't know where to begin.

I feel destined for war,

doomed to struggle eternally.

I want peace and happiness.

I want things to be okay.

Why must I always fight?

Instead, I get terror.

Gnawing fear.

Paralyzing anxiety.

Immeasurable sadness.

Loneliness. Exclusion.

I have been a shadow, a ghost;

I wish I would have known,

I wish I could have known

Sooner. I could have saved myself

From the crushing distance.

Courage is acting in spite of fear,

Not being insensitive to it.

I am a strong woman,

I am loved and supported;

I can do this.